Quote checked against the text
“After friendship is formed you must trust, but before that you must judge.” — attributed to Seneca
In substance, yes; in this wording, no. The idea is at Letters to Lucilius, 3, §2; Richard Mott Gummere’s 1917–1925 edition is quoted below, and the sentence as it circulates is not this translator’s.
In substance, yes; in those words, no. Letter 3, On true and false friendship, says in Gummere’s translation (1917–1925): “When friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment.” The line that circulates, “after friendship is formed you must trust, but before that you must judge”, is another translator’s rendering of the same sentence; it is not in our files as written.
Seneca is answering Lucilius, who had sent a letter by the hand of a “friend” and then warned Seneca not to discuss everything with him. The reproach is that people put last first: violating the rules of Theophrastus, they judge a man after they have made him their friend, instead of making him their friend after judging him. Ponder for a long time whether to admit someone, he adds, and once you have decided, welcome him with all your heart and soul.
The letter is among the 30 we hold in Gummere’s text, out of 124, and can be read at Letter 3; the section is the second. Modern translations differ on the verbs; the wording that circulates is in none of the editions we hold.
What we searched
Each fragment is searched, normalized, in every file of the editions below. The block is the search and its result, replayed at each build.
The wording was searched in the 30 letters of Gummere’s translation (1917–1925) we hold, out of 124, and in the ten dialogues we have from Stewart’s 1889 volume.
$ node tools/seo/grep-quote.mjs --lang en "after friendship is formed" "before that you must judge" "before friendship is formed"
George Long, 1862 — Meditations · 12 books, 487 chapters (1 file)
"after friendship is formed" 0 hits
"before that you must judge" 0 hits
"before friendship is formed" 0 hits
Richard Mott Gummere, 1917–1925 — Letters to Lucilius · 30 letters of 124 (30 files)
"after friendship is formed" 0 hits
"before that you must judge" 0 hits
"before friendship is formed" 1 hit
letter-03.txt l. 4 …you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must…
Aubrey Stewart, 1889 — Minor Dialogues · 10 dialogues, 6 aligned with Baillard chapter for chapter (10 files)
"after friendship is formed" 0 hits
"before that you must judge" 0 hits
"before friendship is formed" 0 hits
Elizabeth Carter, 1758 — Enchiridion · 52 chapters (Carter’s numbering) (1 file)
"after friendship is formed" 0 hits
"before that you must judge" 0 hits
"before friendship is formed" 0 hits
George Long, 1877 — Discourses (selection) and Enchiridion · a selection of the Discourses, without book or chapter numbers, plus the Enchiridion (1 file)
"after friendship is formed" 0 hits
"before that you must judge" 0 hits
"before friendship is formed" 0 hits
$ node tools/seo/grep-quote.mjs --lang fr "une fois l'amitié nouée" "avant d'être ami, sois juge"
Auguste Couat, 1904 — Pensées · 12 books, 487 chapters (IV, 19–20 and VII, 47–48 merged by the translator) (12 files)
"une fois l'amitié nouée" 0 hits
"avant d'être ami, sois juge" 0 hits
Jules Barthélemy-Saint-Hilaire, 1876 — Pensées · 12 books, 487 chapters — second French edition, shown beside Couat (12 files)
"une fois l'amitié nouée" 0 hits
"avant d'être ami, sois juge" 0 hits
Joseph Baillard, 1861 — Lettres à Lucilius · 29 letters of 124 (29 files)
"une fois l'amitié nouée" 0 hits
"avant d'être ami, sois juge" 1 hit
lettre-03.txt l. 6 …sois confiant ; avant d’être ami, sois juge. Or ils…
Joseph Baillard, 1861 — Dialogues et traités · 11 works, 6 aligned with Stewart chapter for chapter (11 files)
"une fois l'amitié nouée" 0 hits
"avant d'être ami, sois juge" 0 hits
Jean-Marie Guyau, 1875 — Manuel · 53 chapters (modern numbering) (1 file)
"une fois l'amitié nouée" 0 hits
"avant d'être ami, sois juge" 0 hits
Victor Courdaveaux, 1862 — Entretiens · 9 chapters of the Discourses (I, 1 · I, 15 · I, 18 · I, 24 · I, 25 · II, 13 · II, 18 · III, 16 · III, 24) (9 files)
"une fois l'amitié nouée" 0 hits
"avant d'être ami, sois juge" 0 hitsThis sentence appears 3 times in the list of circulating quotes we collected on 2026-08-09.
What the text says
When friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment.
How to cite
The idea, not this wording, is at:
Seneca, Letters to Lucilius, 3, §2 (trans. Richard Mott Gummere, 1917–1925)
Other sentences checked
All sentences attributed to SenecaAll quote checks
Every passage in Stoïque carries its reference. The 171 passages of Seneca are in Stoic+, each with its locator.